Catching a movie at the cinemas means that you are not just sharing the experience with your movie date, but also a bunch of strangers. For everyone's enjoyment and good value for their buck, cinema audiences operate under a silent contract where certain rules of conduct must, and I repeat MUST, be followed. But you always encounter that one person who floats outside of common decency and is hellbent on spoiling the experience for all - grrrrrrr!
We'd rather not have had to spell out the obvious, but since it's a pesky little problem that keeps eating away at our (movie) hearts, here are the absolute DON'TS when inside a movie theatre.
- Blaring ringtone
This one usually goes without saying and is also clearly stated before the movie begins. The techy brains put "silent mode" on phones for a reason. This is one of them. No one cares how cool your ear-deafening ringtone is - save it.
- "Hello… hello. I can't hear you"
Yeah, probably because you're inside a theatre, dumbass. Mobile phone etiquette at the cinemas goes beyond just having your phone on silent. You should also NEVER answer your phone in the middle of a show. First off, the other person on the line won't hear you amidst the loud theatre sound. Secondly, flashing everyone with your phone's blinding light is just a douche move. That goes to all the cinema WhatsAppers and Instagrammers too.
- Step in the name of comfort
As much as the dark, air-conditioned room gets you in a relaxed mood, for the love of God, it is and will always be inappropriate to rest your feet on top of the seat in front - whether it's occupied or not. Yes, your feet are killing you, but trust me when I say, you will not
literally die for keeping your feet grounded for just 90 minutes. Also, please, please, please keep your shoes on.
- The dreaded popcorn crunch
No doubt that movies are better with popcorn. We've all, once in a while, found ourselves so engrossed in the onscreen action that we mindlessly wolf down on a bag of popcorn. But it's unforgivable to be a constant nuisance from the beginning to the end of the movie. Caramel popcorn is usually crunchier than salted popcorn so, you would want to take it easy on the chewing. Also, resist the urge to more-than-frequently dip your hand in the rustling popcorn paper. It distracts everyone. Grab a handful and eat them one by one.
- Littering the theatre floor
There are designated cup holders which are conveniently placed near you for the sole purpose of doing just that - holding your soda or water bottle. Worse still, if you happen to leave your popcorn on the floor, it will likely get knocked over by other moviegoers who are shuffling to their seats - which now inconveniences you, a fellow moviegoer and the clean-up crew.
- Seat-lifting
This one is an inexcusable offense especially if it is a fully booked show for a popular movie. Can you imagine going out of your way to book a specific seat, way in advance, only for you to come in and find Mr. Socialism snuggly rumped on your seat. So annoying! As long as we're on this, seat hopping in the middle of a show is also a no-no.
- African timing
This is not the worst offense ever but still makes it to our list. Why? you may ask… Well, because no one wants to watch a walking human silhouette move across the screen. Plus, the cinema generously allows a 10 to 15-minute window (this is when the trailers play) before the movie actually starts. So, do your best to be timely.
- Taking pictures and/or videos
Not only is this illegal but it is also annoying when any sudden flash of (camera) light emanates from anywhere else but the movie screen. Also, if you're capturing it to brag on your social media, you're being a spoiler. No one likes a spoiler!
