40 Thoughts I Had While Watching ‘Nairobi Diaries’ Season 3
In less than 6 months, Nairobi Diaries has managed to give us 3 seasons of the show. You’d think they got better from the tragic first season but by the way things are going, season 1 could almost be considered Emmy worthy. Having not watched the second season, for obvious reasons, I decided to give the third one a shot and here were my thoughts while watching it:
1. Why am I doing this to myself?
2. This Risper chic has no camera presence whatsoever.
3. Did she just say she’s a real estate 'urgent'? WTF is that?
4. So Risper makes her BF bacon and eggs for breakfast just because he’s American? Ok!
5. If Risper’s boyfriend is African American, why is his English so bad? Girl you tried it!
6. Risper’s voice is giving me cancer right now. Let’s move on already!
7. Pendo can’t say cocoon lol.
8. Why is she (Pendo) watering flowers using a basin? What is this struggle?
9. This Vanessa chic is cute. She’s so loud though!
10. What is up with the audio on this show? It’s like they recorded it on an Infinix phone.
11. If Vanessa is a spiritual healer and psychic then I’m a monkeys’s uncle.
12. So Vanessa is going on tour huh? What has she sang again? Nothing? Ok!
13. It’s been only 7 minutes and I feel my soul dying a little bit every second.
14. I know that white girl from my alma mater! What is she doing on this show?
15. Why does Vanessa’s office look like a shady sex dungeon?
16. Someone please fire Risper already. She’s so freaking annoying!
17. Did Judy just say, “I’m back with a bang this time” on the confessional? Who does that?
18. Pendo considers being in a ‘bad space’ as having a ‘bad’ Instagram. Because poverty and hunger are too mainstream.
19. Why does this Luwi guy look like he’s high on crack?
20. This club scene just ruined ‘Can’t feel my face’ for me. FOREVER!
21. Does everyone on this show have more than one occupation?
22. Luwi thinks an Instagram page is an online store. LMFAO!
23. Luwi’s voice is also giving me cancer! Why are these people on TV?
24. This scene with Michelle and her mother is way too long. Argh.
25. OMG Luwi again! Kill me now!
26. Risper and Luwi in the same scene? This is death right here you guys.
27. Dana seems cool. Why is she hanging out with this lot?
28. Risper and Pendo have completely redefined the meaning of women empowerment. And not in a good way.
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29.“Mimi siingilii vitu za wanawake. I’m not a drama…something of a sort” Luwi single handedly murdering the English language. LoL.
30. Molly is getting waay to excited for this ‘women empowerment’ speech.
31. And since when did letting women perform at a club be considered empowering?
32. Risper legit looks medicated in her confessionals.
33. “The night was awesome, we had fun, we had bull riding, we went outside” Risper still NOT selling me on why she’s on a reality show right now.
34. Luwi hitting on Pendo at this parking lot is the most painful thing I’ve ever witnessed.
35. I just watched an 11 minute scene of Michelle talking to her mother about nothing. What happened to editing long scenes you guys?
36. Michelle hugging her mom is the second most painful thing I’ve ever witnessed. Shout out to black parents not showing emotions. Haha.
37. Ayyye Michelle’s mother watches YouTube videos. Check out Levis Ryan if you’re reading this.
38. This next episode preview is a total hot mess honestly. I can see the camera guys for f*ck’s sake.
39. Is it over? Yes! Yes! Yes!
40. Lesson learnt. I’m never doing this again!
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